Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty....

Well heard from the Vet today~~ never really a good sign when they want to wait til the Vet comes in to talk to you... sort of like when a nurse won't tell you lab results in the doctors office.

So Cake still isn't eating- and her labs are showing signs of kidney disease.  I'm heart broken and trying so hard to stay optimistic.  From reading what the ASPCA says it's POSSIBLE it can be brought on by infection- so I'm praying that's all it is.  They'll give her some antibiotics and fluids and she'll be annoying me again quickly!!  I read here Feline CRF that if the damage isn't to extensive sometimes aggressive therapy can help stop the disease and she'll be fine-- but in my need to see the whole picture I do know that this is most likely a terminal illness~~ I don't know what else to say right now- except my heart hurts a little.

Here Kitty Kitty

Good afternoon my pretties!!

Hope everyone is having a wonderfully cold day~~ I got to enjoy it a little when our floor was evacuated for a fire 'drill'-- sometimes being a floor captain b/c you can keep calm in an emergency is so fun! (really wish there were a sarcasm font or quote marks)

Earlier this week I had taken Cupcake and her nemesis Loki (WoWzers cat) to be declawed... OK I'm not asking for personal opinions on the subject-- we're both moving into homes w/new or like new carpet and these felines don't know how to use the scratchers appropriately apparently- so they were tearing up the carpet in our 'old house'... ANYHOW... Cake was doing well at the vets office (who by the way are amazing!) the day of and after surgery- they stayed an extra day because my schedule filled up and I don't have enough hours in the day or enough of me to go around-- NO COMMENTS ON THE SIZE OF MY ARSE! (I know there could potentially be enough to go around) Well she came home last night and stayed under my bed, didn't touch her food, water or her litter box. Let me tell you there's nothing sweet about what Cupcake can lay down in her litter box- so when I noticed there was nothing in it this AM it worried me... she did manage to get in bed w/me around 10pm, snuggle into my face and proceed to cause me to have an allergy attack~~ I laid her over next to me, to get her off my face and that's exactly where she stayed all night- never moved a muscle.  Again, NOT like Cake-- now Loki is acting fine, he raided my room and Cakes food til I locked him out of the room-- This AM I managed to make Cake mad by trying to force her to drink some milk via a syringe... she got back under the bed so I called the Vets office and let them know I was coming in ASAP with her.  When I got her there they weighed her- she'd already lost half a pound since Monday- now for an adult human losing 6 ounces isn't usually noticeable but when you only weigh 10lbs to begin with, it's pretty dramatic.  So she's staying there in an effort to determine what's wrong with her- I just called a few minutes ago and even after 4-5 hours at the vets office she still isn't eating :( :( They're running some lab work too-- poor girl she was feeling so bad she tinkled in her pretty pink carrier bag- and has to use Loki's boyish black one~~ I told her it was a fashion statement that black was the new pink?? All I know is momma is upset- and worried.

I lost two sweet critters Christmas (Chrissy) and Thunderstorm (Stormy) in 2008-2009 respectively- Chrissy had cancer and Stormy I honestly believe died of a broken heart when her life long friend was gone. So being that we examined Cupcake in the very room both of my 'girls' crossed the rainbow bridge in, was hard and now hearing she won't eat-- it's upsetting... so I'm saying a prayer and relying on the fact that Chrissy and Stormy are watching over her from the Rainbow Bridge~ hopefully she'll eat later, maybe she's just being a picky little puss...

Chrissy

Stormy

Cupcake

The Day of the Danseur

Sorry for being absent my darlings- sometimes this life thing gets in the way of what I want to do... dammit, I don't like that but it happens.  However, I have not forgotten you~~ I hope you haven't forgotten me!!!

Sometimes taking your kid to the doctor is quite like taking your car to the mechanic, the problem you're being seen for isn't replicated even in the slightest when someone is looking at it-- Monkey's last visit to the Lower Extremity specialist felt like a waste of the cute doctors time... Monkey didn't even attempt to toe-walk while we were there... Dr McCutie thinks it's habitual-- the Monk pretty much proved that when we got home,  he started to go up on his toes and he told me "no walking on you toes 'Monkey'... off you toes!"  So yeah I think it's a habit.  His uncle WoWzer bought him a new pair of fancy sneakers this weekend in an attempt to discourage it- yeah... didn't help really, now he can pretty much get into a pointe stance in those! I guess I could have a danseur noble on my hands, it could be much, much worse!!! 

Mikal Burisnikov

In other good news-- I'm signing the lease officially to the new digs on the fourteenth.  My own personal Valentine's Day for me and Monkey! I'm so excited... When I can get in and get pics of the awesome new kitchen, I will throw them up here.  Between the location, so close to Monkey's school and the kitchen, dare I say I've found my utopia?? 

Remember the day I took Monkey to the doctor I told you all I had learned a lot and wanted to share?? No-- ok lets review that day... The Day I took Monkey to the Dr..., caught up?? Yes? Awesome!! Ok so I've talked about learning to see yourself  from the 'other side' of the two way mirror in past posts- and how it can really make you feel differently about yourself~~ so my next challenge to myself was to start seeing OTHERS through the opposite side of their mirrors.  WHOA!!! Mind blown!! It started the other day when I was coming into the building that houses my part time home (my office), I saw a lady who by today's societal standards was not particularly attractive.  Not being cruel only stating fact, she was a very large woman- (this coming from a big girl, keep that in mind) but she was smiling, she was struggling to walk a decent pace because she was so fluffy but yet she was smiling.   So as I walked past her I looked through the other side of her mirror- and what do you know? She was beautiful... her smile out-shined the size of the dress she wore- knowing that to someone, somewhere she is the most beautiful, loving creature they can imagine- made ME, a total stranger- see her differently.  Her smile was also contagious- as I ran hastily into the office after stopping to admire it for a minute, I realized I felt lighter- like some bit of my self judgement had been lifted by our brief momentary encounter.  Did she even notice me? I don't know- Did she have a clue about the impact she had on my day- I can say with out hesitation, no- she had NO idea.  

Now, imagine with me if you will-- aww come on, indulge me for a minute?? Thank YOU!! Imagine if we did that with everyone we met~ instead of looking at them the way society has conditioned us to view them-- old, fat, ugly, hateful, lazy, freaky,  (insert your word of choice here)... what if we looked at them through the other side of their mirrors??? I'm trying to do that with every encounter I have and not gonna lie for some it's a challenge- mostly the ones who aren't unattractive but rather have attitude problems... however after a few minutes I can manage to make it happen and my interaction with them changes, I soften up and have more compassion for them and whatever it is they're going through. 

My new challenge to myself and to YOU is to find someone you personally know but don't like- maybe it's a grumpy old neighbor, or a weird co-worker, that girl at the grocery check out that's always hateful and short... stop for a minute and see them as someone who loves them sees them... let me know if it doesn't change your perspective on things.
Totally NOT a Taylor Swift fan but gotta say the kid nailed it on this one... 

Have a wonderful day reflecting my beauties!!! 
S~S

Puss in Boots

Ahhh it's a beautiful sunny day here today- all last weekends snow is melted and the skies are blue for now!! Good thing too because we are finally getting the driveway fixed- yeah the landlord had hired someone to bust up the drive and repair it... They busted it up... And never came back!!! Yup since Thanksgiving its been less than nice... Lesson learned?? Don't pay until the job is DONE!

So we're sitting at a local children's hospital waiting before we to in- today the Monkey has an appointment to get his foot and leg checked out- since his hand doctor noticed he was limping and walking on his tiptoes when we were here last month~~ remember a few posts back I explained PMG and cCMV? Well yeah... That's what's caused the issues in his muscles and nerves. Selfishly I hope he doesn't need a brace or anything- but if he does- we will survive!!

So here we go- in to meet another doctor- technically specialist number 11-

I shall return my pretties... Had a lot of learning experiences this week and I'm excited to share!!

S~S

Part Duex...

While I'm all on the 'self love' kick (NO NOT THAT!!! Geez!) I wanted to share an excerpt from my 'vintage' blog... Respect Yourself... this is from May 2007...

Respect yourself and the world will follow...

Many women ask themselves the same questions, about men. They're questions that have been asked for generations, they're not new to my generation… although I think we're asking a lot more questions- we discuss things a lot more than our mom's and grandmothers did…  Have you ever wondered why: he lied, he didn't call when he said he would, he doesn't support his babies, he ignores you, he expects you to cater to him, he uses you for his booty call when 'wifey' don't want to- or maybe when she's just not around, he beats you-but buys you Gucci to make up for it, cheats on you- then swears he won't do it again~~ or until the next easy piece walks by… makes all kinds of promises and plans with you~ only to break them~ time and time again… and I'm not talking about promising to take you shopping, I'm talking LIFE promises… Lets' take a look at this shall we ladies?? Now, you might wanna get your steel toed Timberland's on cause I'm sure I'm gonna step on some toes- MY own included… I'm sure I'll offend many~ even some men who might actually read this… but it's something that needs to be addressed, it's not discussed enough.

 

WHY do we allow this to happen to us?? Let me tell you sisters~~ we lack the self respect necessary to stop it!!! Women who respect themselves first and foremost do NOT let men treat them this way; they don't allow anyone to abuse, use or mistreat them.  What has happened to us respecting ourselves?? I know it's not all our fault right?? Society has conditioned us to do what we have to do to hold on to a man… from dressing a certain way, behaving a certain way, even giving up our own identities.  In the mean time, we've lost our self respect- and the respect of the very men we were trying to impress and keep a hold of. 

Do you really want a man in your life that just wants you for sex? Do you honestly want a man in your life that doesn't want to help you support the children he so willingly helped you create? And why would you want to stay with a man who abused you- no matter HOW much you loved him?? Why would a self respecting woman want a man who was a two timing womanizer? Now girls I am asking myself some of these questions just as much as I am asking any one of you out there—

Come on… WE do deserve better… and YES there IS better out there… there ARE good men.  There ARE men who want to treat a woman like a princess… BUT, first and foremost we have to believe we deserve to be treated as such!!! We have to RESPECT OURSELVES before we'll ever find that man… a good, self respecting man doesn't want a woman who is willing to just throw herself out there… they want a woman who's graceful in her behavior, strong willed, intelligent, loving, gentle, industrious, knows how to handle herself in time of need, can be his partner and his confidant and one who exudes confidence and self respect!!!

While I'm on that subject- a real man, one who wants to treat a SELF RESPECTING woman like she should be treated doesn't want a woman who's willing to post pictures of herself (to borrow from a friend)  'all protruding out there' and brag about her sexual conquests and her other degrading habits… why display yourself like that?? A self respecting woman knows the difference between sexual and sensual… she knows there are lines that really don't need to be crossed (in public)~~ There are some HOT self respecting women out there- who know how to attract a man w/out flaunting all their goodies all over the place… that is class and sophistication~~
 

Now with that said… I would love to see my generation be the one who teaches the younger girls about respecting ourselves again… taking a stand- I don't mean being a BITCH~ I mean not letting men use us, abuse us, hurt us for no reason other than we allow it… we need to learn it's ok to have confidence and be proud of who we are—it doesn't matter if we're Black, White, Latino, Asian, Mixed… we all deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect … but it all starts with US…  So if you're tired of being mistreated, quit bitching about it… start respecting YOU first and you'll start seeing changes in the way others treat you… 

Super Groundhog or Goundhog Soup???

Well after a weekend of rodents not seeing their shadow, more of the frozen white stuff from the sky and howling winds- tonight it's apparently the party of the year- at least in the sports world. I'm not too into it this year-- obviously, I'd rather write for you my preciouses~~

Not a big, exciting, weekend here~mostly hanging out w/the Monkey and hoping WoWzer (my younger brother who's taken root in the bedroom above the garage~ who plays WoW a LOT!! Hence the moniker) would get off the PC and quit hogging the bandwith...

However, had another one of those right person at the right time events take place-- this is starting to be a habit!! Spent a while emailing back and forth with a dear friend from my past, who knew me as I was and knows me as I am- I'm so proud to say we've both grown and matured in so many ways-- we got on the subject of faith- something I RARELY talk openly about... he said some things that really gave me some inspiration... and made quite a bit of sense and opened my eyes... again, when we let it the Universe has a way of bringing who we need into our lives in the very moment we need them. I'm starting to be more open to that as an effort to start fresh with this new move I'm in the midst of... It's my goal to have a totally new house, new stuff in it, a new outlook on Monkey and his issues and a new lease on life- it's not a resolution, but a true goal to be healthier, happier and saner in the next few months. Allowing myself to be open to new ideas and the right people at the right time, will crucial in that goal.

I talked the other day about loving ourselves where we are at in this very moment of our lives... and accepting others input in our lives is very important in that venture.  We need to hear (and listen to) how others view us and our deeds from time to time- and let the martyr and 'ah shucks' facades down for a while... YES sometimes hearing too much goodness about ones self can cause us to get all bloated and big headed and there is nothing pretty about being bloated-- believe you me!! But we all as humans hunger to hear we're doing a great job at whatever we are invested in-- our jobs, caring for our children, caring for our parents, what ever it is... an 'attaboy' or 'attagirl' is a nice thing to get every once in a while.  Sometimes it's taking a compliment in general~ just saying "Thank You" when someone says, "You look nice today." without the heavy sigh or 'whatever' response.  Remember, they're looking at us from the other side of the mirror...

Just wanted to give a shout out to my friend who unwittingly helped me tonight~~ and let you know I hadn't forgot about this here writing thing I've committed to doing- I'm sure I'll have much more to say tomorrow-- but for the moment I've got to get to the laundry... the fun never ends!!

Sweet dreams my darlings!!
S~S

Ice Ice Baby.... WAY to Damn Cold!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! Finally it's FRIDAY, it' FRIDAY... no, this isn't an homage to Rebecca Black... I'm just glad it's the weekend- I've got some boxes to pack, it's going to snow more and I don't have anywhere I HAVE to go so it can snow all it wants until Sunday afternoon-- then it needs to melt so I can get my week started off on a good, less slippery note.  

Speaking of a good note, I got a call from one of the most precious people last night- she's the director of a program here on campus and an amazing educator. She's invited me to speak to one of her classes Monday night about my journey with Monkey- what was so awesome about this phone call was how things unfolded~ we ended up talking about some things I have been working through personally- she had no way of knowing these things and yet she called me just as I was dealing with them... I've learned when we let it, the universe has a way of placing the right people in the right place just when we need them-- BUT we have to be open to it... 

We also have to be open to loving and accepting ourselves-- right where we are-- not who we were 15 years ago or who we envision being in 5 years- but who we are at this VERY moment in our lives.  We all have this 'ideal-self', this pre-conceived notion of our 'best'.  While it's great to have a goal for ourselves, we can't love only that 'picture perfect self'.  We have to learn to love ourselves at the moment- if we don't love who we are RIGHT NOW- we can't become that ideal self~ those negative vibes will continue to hold us back.

Chances are the 'self' we see and loathe isn't the 'self' others see- as a general rule we are harder on ourselves than any one outside of us is going to be... It's like a two way mirror-- when we look in it, we see our flaws, our failures, that extra 15 pounds we can't seem to lose.  When others look at us through the mirror on other side they see our strengths, our beauty, our talents- they don't notice the scars and crows feet- instead they see courage and beautiful smiles.  

I know personally how hard it is to love yourself in the NOW- when I think of my optimum self it's five years ago, in fact only days before Monkey was born- I was thinner, vibrant, a little cocky and had the world by it's coat tails... I don't see myself that way anymore- but that doesn't mean I can't love ME right now~ as hard as it may be when I look in the mirror, I have to try to see me as others do.  

A cute story to bring it all home when "Brave" came out my hair was long and curly- quite like Merida's... the first time Monkey saw a preview for the movie he exclaimed "Dats mommy!! Mommy dats you!!!" I snickered because my mother had also said Merida reminded her of me when I was younger- strong, rebellious, didn't conform, etc.  (Even the way she wipes her face on her sleeve in one scene)  Monkey tells anyone who will listen that Merida and mommy are the same person... so when I cut my hair shorter than shoulder length one day on a whim I expected the comparison to stop- to me it was a visual comparison of my wild red-hair.   However, months later he STILL insists that it's Mommy in the movie- Why is that?? Because it's not a visual comparison, in his mind I AM Merida, he sees me as his 'hero', the stubborn willing to fight for what she believes in, Scottish Princess.  When I look in the mirror I see the chubby, buxom hand maiden, Maudie-- but Monkey will tell me... "NOOO dats not you-- THAT'S YOU!!" while pointing to Merida.  He is looking through the mirror from the other side.  

In order to truly love ourselves we need to look through the other side of the mirror.  So my darlings, I'm challenging you to do just that-- take a long hard look in the mirror, but instead of whining about what you see, think or feel--be BRAVE enough to view yourself as a loved one does, through the other side~~

Enjoy your cold weekend my lovelies!!! 
S~S