The Aftermath... not After the Math (because that would be depressing, I hate math!)

HELLO my darlings!!! Missed me lately??  

It's been a while since I took the time to sit down and write- I've been busy traveling for work and then getting back to 'normal' after that... Although not sure how I manage to do that since there was no 'normal' before I was gone so much.  But, I always say there is no such thing as normal-- only varying degrees of insanity!  That I can do! 

 OK- so ANYHOW a few weeks ago I wrote about Breaking The Mold- taking charge of how I feel about MYSELF and not letting society dictate how I should feel, look, act...etc.  Wanted to take a minute and update everyone one that- it's actually WORKING!!!!!

Since deciding to relinquish the confines of society's expectations~~~ 

I've come to like myself more, take better care of myself and feel better about ME and who I am.  I've been taking advantage of having an amazing support system with the Monkey Boy and taking time to get my nails done, get my hair done and occasionally take some down time, just for ME.  I'm less stressed, less blah and actually less 'tired'.  I've started doing things that make ME happy again... being selfish for just a few hours a week (But NOT causing Monkey Boy to sacrifice at all)-- ALL because I decided to change how I looked at, thought of and felt about myself.  I'm taking time to realize I'm more than just Monkey Boy's momma- I'm My own person, who DESERVES to feel good about HERSELF.

I figured with a milestone birthday coming up (YES, I will be 21 AGAIN!!! Thanks for asking!)  I didn't want to face another decade feeling so down on myself- because at the end of the day it's my opinion that actually dictates how others feel about me.  If I possess a negative attitude about myself, my body, my position in life at this time- then others will follow suit- and that is NOT what I'm looking to put out in the universe.  

I can't lie I've had a BAD attitude about myself for a long time- actually my attitude has just been bad about  a lot of  things (no need to make a list here)-- but since I've been learning to Roll With It and Breaking The Mold I'm learning to be a lot more positive.  I had no idea how my self image and my hang ups about it were affecting my life as a whole-- until I started changing the way I think. 

Breaking the chains of constantly trying to measure up to someone else's expectations has been AMAZING... Just wish it hadn't taken as long as it has 'ahem... it's only be 21 years.  (you DO believe that right??) 

 It's not been a quick and easy thing to do- I still look in the mirror sometimes and go 'meh'... but I'm trying daily to find at least ONE positive thing and focus on that... Someday's, I'm still caught off guard at times by something in the media that makes me feel inferior, then I politely say "Fuck it, that's not who I am or who I'll ever be"- and I go back to celebrating my uniqueness.  

I'm trying to let go of the old 'expectations' of how someone of my age and position in life (the single mother of a very special needs little guy in a professional career) is supposed to act and feel and instead decide for myself-- if I want to be silly, I'll act silly, if I don't want to "act my age", so be it~~ AND I'm LEARNING to take chances- although I'm STILL not very good at that- I get all tangled up inside and then I start to go thru the 'what if's' and it takes a downward spiral straight to "Hell in a Hand-basket" - but I don't want to be at the end of my life and regret not taking a risk ~~~ So it's a learning process. 

If I can wish and hope anything for anyone else it's that each of you have the same freedom from your negative thoughts and connotations about yourself- that you discover how amazing  YOU are just as you are- how NO ONE has the ability to define you but  YOU.

I promise to check in sooner and update y'all on the progress! I'd LOVE to hear what some of you have done recently to break free from the chains of others expectations~~ and how you felt about it!! 

Love to all!!

S~S