20/20 Rocking FORTY Fabulously~~~~

Good afternoon my lovies!!! Hope your Tuesday is ROCKING!!!!

Last week I KNOW I was whining about getting lost in the hoopla of being Monkey Boy’s mom and WoWzers Big sis—and I apologize but hey- it’s what was happening at the time and have I not warned you, that you’ll be privy to those days as well as the ones that kick ass???

Speaking of kicking ASS… Did just that this weekend!! I took Friday off (for the most part) and just went shopping for myself- not the house, not the boys, just ME- felt good to do something just for Shonda for a change.  I found an adorable dress I decided to wear Saturday night AND shoes to go with it!!! 

If you don't know I turned the BIG 4-0 on Sunday... so this weekend was about my birthday!!!!! 

Then Saturday I got a massage, a manicure/pedicure and spent the day just doing what I Wanted to do- all while knowing Monkey Boy was having a BLAST with his Ms. K.  After a day of letting other people pamper me- 

I headed home to get ready for my birthday celebration…

Not going to lie, I was a little blue when I got word that several of my friends who I expected to hang out with at the ‘after dinner party’ were going to be unable to make it… so I just canceled that part of my evening- THEN I got a late RSVP that a favorite person of mine would be joining us… YAY, all renewed and ready to rock!!!

I managed to get my hair to do what I wanted it to, (took me a few tries) and donned my little blue dress- and I must say, I felt pretty… Oh so pretty…. Oh sorry got off track singing there. 

Super Sweet Present!!

Dinner was PERFECT- some of the people I love and care about the most were there- minus my mom, stepdad, Monkey Boy and WoWzer (who had to work so NOT upset over that fact!) I haven’t been out like a grown up in, ummmmmm yeah I can’t tell you when, so it was so great to just chill and enjoy the company of the people who love me!! (they love me JUST LIKE I AM, too—always a huge PLUS!!) ]

After dinner, I got to snuggle on Monkey while he was asleep and on Sunday I woke up to a sweet present he made me w/Ms. K and some awesome cupcakes he helped her make too!!!

I also woke up to a TON of Happy Birthday messages from friends and family all over the country!! :) :)  [ 

Told you it was cute!!! :)

Sunday I pulled off another CUTE hair style, if I may say so myself, and I took the boys to a Lexington Legends game.  (Great seats compliments of Monkey Boy’s Toyota Miracle League of the Bluegrass most amazing buddy and Monkey Boy’s biggest fan- next to mom of course!)

PLAY BALL!!! 

We enjoyed hot dogs and a couple drinks- then when Monkey was over stimulated we left the game and ended up at a local Mexican establishment for dinner and a rendition of “Feliz Cumpleanos” complete with sombrero and free sopapilla! Then later a great phone call with a wonderful friend who lives too far away! 

So all in all I will say my last days at 39 and my first at 40 have F'ing ROCKED!!!! I was reminded of what's most important and that's being with the people who love me, for me- not the quantity of guests at a party but the quality of the relationships you have with those guests!!

(I've also decided that when I have the time, I will TOTALLY be rocking more 1940’s inspired fashions and hair styles… I LOVE them!! Wish we had got some good pics… who knows maybe that’s my next “ME THING” a vintage photo shoot!!! OOOH now that sounds like fun!!!!)

My Inspiration- my Grandma in 1942 and me in 2013!!  

Love you all and I encourage you to love yourself- take time out every so often for yourself and you’ll discover what a huge difference it has on your outlook!!!

Love~~ ]]]

S~S [[[

Roll With It

Let me preface this with a disclaimer-- I wouldn't change this little stinker~~~ what needs changing is how momma here handles some of the stress that comes with parenting Monkey Boy...

So Saturday we had game two of Monkey Boy’s extraordinary baseball team… of course he ran—and ran—and ran some more… not when he was supposed to or to where he was supposed to go but just randomly all over the field… Stopping on occasion to throw a ball to someone, to give someone a high five or his favorite game ~ smack mom on the butt— And I’m not going to lie—it made me anxious. 

Anxious someone would comment on the wild little boy running all over—the little boy who couldn't listen, who couldn't be still… That someone would comment on my apparent lack of parenting skills and how he just needs boundaries and discipline…

I suppose I’m still stuck a mindset of ‘mainstream’ and how I’m supposed to help him ‘fit into that mold’ although I KNOW he’s never going to just ‘fit in’, I subconsciously keep expecting any day it’ll happen- it’ll click in his little oddly wired brain and he’ll ‘get it’… but at the end of the day I’m left exasperated, worn out, exhausted, pooped and plain old disappointed… WHY???

Because I can’t just “LET IT GO”!!!

You’d think after five years, I’d have this down, but sometimes I forget when I look into those big brown eyes while he’s doing something SO typical of a 4/5 year old (since he’s a new five I will cut some slack there), I forget how we struggle to keep our little body in sync so we can just make it through the day.  I forget how we can memorize an entire movie script but we can’t remember that the stove is hot… I forget that we can’t process things as quickly and we repeat- sometimes we repeat, repeat, repeat until mom is blue in the face and frustrated- I forget our little body just doesn't always do the things we want it to and it’s hard to figure out how to catch a ball,  cut a piece of paper or various other fine motor things—

Then- just when I’m on the brink of tears, comes an “I love you mommy” or “I want to cwuddle you mommy” or my favorite—“I jus wanna hold you mommy, please!” And all the frustration, anxiety and tension is gone for a little while…

I’m working on letting it go- letting go of that picture of the typically functioning little dark skinned, dark headed, bright eyed boy I see in him—and to embrace WHO he is… he’s just HIM, and he's PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!! I’ve spoken on this before- on the grieving the little boy I thought I’d have… well it’s a process.  It’s one I’m still dealing with- obviously- DUH!! 

I was reminded by another very special momma this weekend that when he’s at baseball—they ALL get it—that’s why they’re there!! To just let him go… to let IT go… let him run, let him be silly, let him soak up all the love that’s on that field for him and special kids like him… no one there is going to judge him- no one there is going to think I’m a bad parent- just relax and let it go!!! She calls it her ‘happy place’—and boy don’t I need one of those?? Don’t we all?? Somewhere we don’t feel judged- where we’re accepted for just being ourselves??

Luckily Monkey Boy has his place- now for mom to figure out how to just take a deep breath, exhale slowly and LET IT GO!!