Into the Light...

Good Afternoon my pretties!!! Hope everyone is enjoying this heat and humidity~~ because it's not the heat- it's the humid that makes it so miserable right?? (Sorry, no it's the heat too- I'm too delicate a Scottish flower to believe the bullshit about how dry heat is different...) I prefer comfortably warm-- about 10-15 degrees cooler than it's been here lately!

So ANYHOW... enough about the weather- let's get down to the nitty gritty of why we're here... (to read what I have to say, right?)

Have you ever been happy, content and just sailing along-- no chop, smooth water, just the right amount of wind and sunshine.  A perfect feeling actually, one you'd like to relish for a long time... A feeling you could get used to and could enjoy to it's fullest....

Then BAM!!! Suddenly your sail has a small hole in it, out of nowhere. It's not a huge rip, it's hardly noticeable to the nekkid (yes NEKKID) eye- but slowly you start losing wind-- your mainsail starts to deflate a little and you're no longer sailing along, more like drifting aimlessly.  The longer you're out on the water the larger the rip gets and the more deflated your sail becomes, until finally it's useless.

Now how the hell are you going to get back to shore?? You have to break out the oars and row in.  What happened to your smooth, slow, relaxed sailing excursion?? Now you have to WORK to get back to shore safely.  It's starting to get dark and that calm water is now a little freakishly scary.  So you row harder and harder hoping to get back to land before your mind starts to play tricks on you and you start seeing things in the dark, in the still calm water.  Hopefully you're rowing in the right direction, not going in circles or getting further and further from shore. 

Oh and don't forget it's getting cold now- the sun has set and taken not only, the only light you had but that wonderful soft warmth along with it.  This makes it even harder to row as the cold sets in.  You're cold, tired, scared and a little pissed off that your relaxing jaunt has taken a turn for the worst. Your mind is racing- you're starting to consider giving up, when you see a glimmer of light.  

Hopefully it's not some kind of sea monster (told you your mind was racing and making up some crazy shit!) You're inclined to row toward the light, hurriedly at first, then your brain starts making up more crazy stuff so you slow down some-- the closer you get, you realize it's a light house, a beckon of safety! You row faster and harder until you finally make it to shore- safely.  You're welcomed by a light keeper, offered shelter, food and rest.  You also discover a place to repair your sail.  It isn't a hard job, the sail isn't completely torn just enough to deflate and not hold your wind- so you mend your sail and sleep a good hard sleep after working so hard to get to shore.  The next day you are able to start off on your sailing excursion again... renewed, restored and ready to go.  The light keeper gives you enough provisions to help you in the event your sail goes flat again along with a compass to help you on your way.   This time you're prepared for dangers and feel more secure as you travel in  your repaired sailboat. 

OK so MOST of us have never even BEEN on a sailboat- much less on an excursion out on our own like the one above.  BUT how many times have you be content and happy, sailing along when someone says something that just seems to take all the wind out of your sails?? It may have been an innocent comment to them but to you it was that small rip that lead to your deflated mainsail. They may not even realize they've said or done anything 'damaging' but yet there you are, dead in the water, feeling defeated. 

Maybe you were just starting to get over issues that had plagued you for several years and feeling really good about yourself and your situation- now you feel like you're slipping back to that dark, scary place again. You pull out your oars and start working to leave the darkness behind, you KNOW you can get out of it, you've done it before-- you've worked hard to overcome the fear, the demons in your head, the things you imagine are there but really aren't. (or that you imagine aren't there but they really are. Think about that one for a minute) But for a while you hadn't had to deal with any of them- until NOW... again- it only took a few words and you feel like you're drifting aimlessly once more.  You're working harder than ever to get to that happy place again. You're rowing fast and furious to get out of the dark and cold. 

Then your light house comes along- it could be a friend, a stranger, a child with something to say that lifts your spirits- or it could be something else- you may read something, see something- whatever it is for you, it helps guide you to a safe, quiet place.  A place to regroup and remind yourself, you're OK.  A place where you can repair your sail and relax.  Where you can reflect.  From this encounter with your light keeper you feel energized, ready to head back out- ready to conquer your insecurities and fears again- to get back on track. You may proceed cautiously at first. You may choose to avoid the one who 'ripped your sail' in the first place, at least for a while... or you may choose to confront them- whatever floats your boat (HA) and works for you!  But remember when you feel that darkness creeping in that there is someone, something out there that is your light keeper-- and strive to surround yourself with that (those, them... you get the point) 

It's also a good time to remember we can all be light keepers-- that there's someone out there in the darkness, a drift with no direction and we can each bring them light- we can all give someone else rest and reassurance at some point.  It's sort of a pay it forward kind of deal~~ you may find that by sharing your light with someone else you actually light your own way as well. 

I hope each of you find your light house today- and act as someone's light keeper as well.  

Love,

S~S

Swimming....Just keep Swimming

So yesterday Monkey had ‘play therapy’ (to help with all the adjustments he’s endured lately that his little body and mind can’t seem to wrap around) ANYHOW~~

There is a lot of ‘people’ at play therapy—little people—figurines… one has been marked as ‘mommy’, one as “Monkey” and one was “WoWzer” as well as everyone else in our lives… there’s also a sandbox and lots of ‘accessories’ for him to act things out with…

We started out in the ‘dollhouse’ and then in the car and finally we made it across the room to the sandbox which is referred to as ‘the beach’ (we've NEVER been to the beach but Monkey is DYING to go to one) So he starts taking all the figurines to the beach… his counselor looks over at his playing and whispers to me, “They’re all placed face down in the sand” the look of shock and horror made me get up and look into the sandbox—I was met with a “GO sit, Monkey playing!!” so I sat back down and agreed it was a bit spooky.  His counselor told me it was a little unsettling- there was only one figurine that wasn't face down and was in a chair it was “Daddy”… who’s daddy?? I HAVE NO CLUE!!! She kind of laughed when she said it made her think of a serial killer who collected bodies in the backyard… Yeah great way to make me comfortable about living w/him!! J J But it disturbed me as well- especially since I wasn't allowed over there to play.

Eventually mommy, Monkey and WoWzer went home while everyone else stayed face down in the sand at the beach… he did let me help him clean up when it was time to go~~ so I thought that was progress.

After session we were in the car as he enjoyed a Mango Smoothie and some French fries- I asked him “So, Monkey Boy… at Ms. C’s when you were playing with the people at the beach, what were they doing??”

“They was in da water” he replied between slurps of smoothie goodness.

“They were in the water? Were they swimming??” I asked anxiously awaiting the reply.

He looked at me like I was Fifty Shades of CRAZY, “Uh, YEAH- dey swimming” was the smart, sarcastically toned reply I got. 

THANK GOD!! He wasn’t plotting to kill me, just to let me drowned!! I feel much better about that!!

Today I called his counselor to let her know his explanation and she was also relieved…

But got me thinking—how often do we misinterpret things?? In his mind, in his imagination there was water in the box as well as sand—but how were we to know that?? How many times have you seen a child misbehaving in the store and thought it was bad parenting or just a ‘spoiled brat’? Or seen a child wearing a dirty worn shirt and thought their parents don’t care or they were poor?? Or seen a child in a restaurant under the table and thought their parents needed to gain control?? How many things have we misinterpreted??

Without knowing the full story we can only judge and it’s usually negatively—have you ever stopped to consider that misbehaving child is hungry or cold or wet and has no other way to communicate that need—even though they look 6-7 maybe they’re nonverbal and can’t just talk and tell mom what’s up, instead they scream… Or that the child in the dirty shirt refuses to wear anything else~ that maybe that shirt is their security and rather than upset them before an outing, mom lets them wear it—and maybe that little dark headed boy with the big brown eyes is totally overwhelmed by the noise level, smells, and sights in the restaurant and has sought solace under the table- where he’s not disturbing anyone but feels secure….

I suppose my thought for today is unless you know all the facts, don’t judge~~~ it could lead you to be stuck with your head in the sand when you could be swimming…

Hope every one of my pretties has a wonderful weekend!!

S~S